Dating app burnout is real: About 78 percent of people who are on the apps report feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by them, according to a 2025 Forbes Health survey with 1,000 respondents. That makes now the ideal time to connect with potential romantic partners the old-fashioned way…and the gym is a surprisingly awesome place for real-life meet-cutes.
If you value fitness—and you’d like your future partner to value it, too—the gym is “a great location to check that box,” says Jenni Skyler, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist based in Colorado. Plus, the gym is a place most people visit regularly, which can help you score consistent face time with your love interest and gradually build rapport.
If you feel nervous, remember this: Overcoming the stigma of chatting up your gym crush “requires the trust in yourself and the self-confidence to write your own life narrative,” Skyler says. This may be especially tough for heterosexual men, as “there is some social push back for men to keep to themselves versus ogle over women in the gym,” Skyler says. “But,” she adds, “if you are confident, friendly, and respectful, you will be fine to take a risk and at least start a conversation and a possible friendship.”
I’m a fitness instructor and certified personal trainer who’s much too shy to approach a hottie in the gym (and also, I’m married). So I turned to Skyler, who regularly counsels her clients to flirt at the gym and has met people there herself, for tips on how to chat up your fitness crush without being disrespectful—or just plain weird.
1. Show Your Crush You’re Into Them
Displaying interest doesn’t need to be complicated. In Skyler’s personal experience, “smiles go a long way,” she says. They’re a low-stakes, non-invasive way to signal your interest and determine if your crush might reciprocate it. So the next time you encounter them, make eye contact, if you can, and flash a warm, genuine grin. (FYI: You don’t need to force a toothy grin if that’s not natural for you; a closed-upturned lip is perfectly fine.)
2. Move in Closer—but Keep a Respectful Distance
Getting physically close to your crush is another way to show your interest, but this needs to be done carefully—otherwise, things can get creepy or invasive really fast.
“Make an effort to go into the same zone as that person, but don’t corner them, because then they might feel trapped,” Skyler says. She adds it’s also important not linger too long. Instead, make an appearance, smile, and then walk away.
“The disappearance is actually important because it builds mystery and it builds intrigue, and it doesn’t feel like you have a stalker or that you have to initiate or engage with this person,” she says. For example, if they’re doing bicep curls next to the rack of free weights, go over and pick up a set of dumbbells, smile, and leave to do your exercises elsewhere.
If, during that encounter, they smiled back at you, the next time you’re visiting the weight rack, stick around and complete your set at a slightly closer proximity, Skyler says (though again, make sure you’re not setting up right next to them—you don’t want to make them uncomfortable or get in the way of them performing their workout).
3. Pay Attention to the Signs Your Gym Crush Likes You Back
Sometimes it can be hard to gauge if your crush likes you back. Skyler suggests watching out for these signs that they might reciprocate your feelings:
- They smile when they see you
- They give you stolen glances, perhaps also with a smile
- They ask about your life outside of the gym
- They remember something trivial you said a while ago
- They make excuses to continue the conversation
- They go out of their way to talk to you and to say goodbye
If you notice any of the above, it’s probably a green light that they’re into you, too.
4. Ask About Their Workout or Interests
Once your crush returns your smile and seems chill with you exercising near them, take the next step of striking up a conversation. This is admittedly vulnerable, and it’s “100 percent the most difficult first step,” Skyler says. That’s why she suggests practicing with non-crushes first: pick three people at the gym that you’re not attracted to and initiate casual conversations with them. For example, ask the front desk worker how their day is going, or tell someone in spin class that you like their shoes. This can help build the confidence you need to approach your crush.
When you’re ready for that step, make sure they’re not mid-set, then start with a simple nicety like: “Hi, it’s good to see you again,” Skyler says. Or ask a basic question like: “What’s that exercise you were doing?” or “What else do you enjoy outside the gym?” she adds.
During this initial convo, you may be tempted to comment on their body, but not everyone will appreciate that, Skyler says. Instead, try complimenting them on how well they do something, or on something you’re impressed by. If they seem like a serious gymgoer, they may find a comment about their physical abilities flattering, Skyler says (for example: “Wow, you’re super strong!”). But again, this approach is a little riskier, so proceed with caution, she says. If this feels outside of your comfort zone, opt for a simple, pleasant one-line opening.
5. Don’t Pretend to Like What They Like to Impress Them
As you’re navigating the vibe with your gym crush, focus also on finding forms of exercise you genuinely enjoy. “Figure out what is fun for you and how you like to move your body,” Skyler says. “That authenticity and true joy shine through,” she explains, adding that people are attracted to it. In fact, these qualities can be an aphrodisiac, she says.
For example, if you simply hate running, don’t force yourself to do a treadmill workout just to impress your love interest. Instead, find something that does jive with you—whether that’s yoga class, power lifting, or pickleball—and allow your resulting delight to radiate.
6. Be Cool with Friendship If Nothing Romantic Happens
Lower the pressure of chatting up your gym crush by focusing on developing just a friendship—at least at first. “I’m a big fan of the friendship that catches fire,” Skyler says. “It builds emotional connection, trust, and rapport before we get too quickly into the bedroom.”
Also, during a conversation with your crush, you’ll hopefully be able gauge their relationship status (unless it’s obvious in the form of a wedding ring), Skyler says. If they don’t seem too intrigued by you or you do find out they’re taken, Skyler suggests remaining open to being friends.
That’s because they may just have a single friend who is available, Skyler points out. Plus, it never hurts to have another gym buddy.
Have any gym crush stories you want to share? Leave a comment below.
The post How to Talk to Your Gym Crush Without Being Totally Weird and Awkward appeared first on Outside Online.
