It’s 6:45 p.m. on a Monday. It’s around 67 degrees outside. I’m in Yaphank, a town on Long Island, New York. I make a mental note of the time and toss my phone into the passenger seat of my car.
I haven’t run or walked without my Apple Watch or headphones in probably two or three years. Not because I abhor it, but mostly because I never think to not take them with me. My best friend, who’s also a runner, told me once: “If you didn’t track it, it never happened.” Her words stuck with me. Did I really run if I have no real proof other than my frizzy edges, a racing heartbeat, and sweat dripping from my eyebrows? If I can’t share my activity on Instagram, was my run a waste?
According to a 2021 study, wearable technology and the data it generates can be burdensome for athletes, as it turns a workout that should be rewarding and even fun into a competition. I, myself, have found myself racing against my own watch. So today, I’m running without music and without a tracker.
I shut the car door, pull my obnoxiously large emerald-green sunglasses over my eyes, and hop up on the sidewalk. I see a woman walking her gigantic dog and quickly turn around and go the other direction (I’m a cat person, sorry not sorry). I start with a slow jog. I feel naked. My ears feel empty. My right wrist has been orphaned. Everything feels off. I don’t like this, I think to myself.
Without music and no watch to poke at, I don’t know what to focus on. I hear each step of my feet. I see every car driving. My breaths are loud. Why am I breathing so loudly? Huff. Step. Huff. Step. Huff. Huff.
No one is in earshot, but I’m immediately embarrassed. I sound like a panting dog on a scorching summer day. Do I always sound like this? Let me steady my breath. Huffffff. Hooooo.
I’m actively controlling my breathing as much as possible in the event I pass by another runner; I don’t want them to think I’ve never run or walked or done anything a day in my life. My breath quiets. I feel accomplished. Maybe my breathing always sounds like that. I wouldn’t have known, considering the music usually beating my eardrums.
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