In another stunning loss for Donald Trump and U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro, a jury of DC residents found Sean Dunn, who threw a very dangerous and spicy footlong sub at a federal officer occupying Washington, not guilty.
The half baked trial put Sean “the Sandwich Guy” Dunn, a 37-year-old Air Force veteran, on the hot seat after harmlessly throwing a sub at a fully tricked-out officer in a bulletproof vest.
The food fight was caught on video, spreading on social media like only a viral food delicacy can. Initially, Pirro’s office tried to get a grand jury to indict on felony assault, but I guess the sandwich didn’t have spicy enough mustard on it to make it dangerous, so they settled for the mayonnaise version: a misdemeanor.
After his arrest, Dunn admitted to the ham-fisted crime, saying “I did it. I threw a sandwich. I did it to draw them away from where they were. I succeeded.”
The meatiest testimony of the trial came from the CBP officer who was the victim of the run by sandwiching, On the stand, he said that he “felt the impact of the sandwich through his bulletproof vest” and that “the sandwich kind of exploded all over my uniform and it smelled of onions and mustard.”
The defense attorney provided a savory video, showing that the sandwich was still fully wrapped when it fell to the ground. The officer continued to provide a hearty defense of his greasy lies.
